The D-Nice Method Of How Not To Receive A Speeding Ticket
I was driving home last Friday night around 5 am, doing 65 mph in a 35 mph zone when I encountered a New Jersey police officer sitting in his patrol vehicle on the side of the road. My first thought was the hit the brakes, but then I realized that would be too obvious and there would be no way for me to talk my way out of getting the ticket. I decided to keep speeding and let him catch up to me. Less than a minute later, I could hear the wailing sound of the police sirens nearing me. I had to think fast or risk receiving a speeding ticket and the one thing we all hate the most, points on my driver's license.
I got it! As I pulled my car over on the side of the road, I started to make myself cough uncontrollably in order to give the perception that I wasn't feeling well. As he approached my car, I rolled down the driver side window, and before he could get a word in, I handed him my license and registration and said to him "(cough, cough, argh, cough, cough) I know why you are (cough, cough) stopping me. There's a (cough, cough, argh, cough, cough) reason why I was speeding." Now this is when it gets comical. I coughed so much that I really started to believe I was sick.
I explained to him that I was a dj and I that I was on my way home from an event. He asked me if I was djing at a rave party. I looked at him and said "HELL (cough, cough, argh, cough, cough) NO! I am using Theraflu, not Ecstasy!" Just when he was about to respond, I said, "I have to (cough, cough, argh, cough, cough) throw up! Do you (cough, cough) mind if I step out of the car?" He said, "Go right ahead and as a matter of fact sir, here's your license and registration back. Hurry home!" I thanked him and laughed all the way home. Who said rappers (cough, cough, argh, cough, cough) can't act?
Comments
Thankx! I'LL HAVE TO USE THAT ONE. MY SPEEDING RECORD NEEDS SOME MERCY. EVENTHOUGH I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING PEOPLE TOLD ME & COPS NEVER LET ME BY!
OH WELL, I'M GONNA HAVE TO CHECK YOU OUT NOW
Posted by: Heather | July 20, 2005 11:13 AM
You must've did some serious coughing because it seems like that wouldn't work. At least, for me it wouldn't. But thanks for giving us that little tidbit of info; its always a good thing to give back to the community. Easy.
Posted by: Matthew | July 10, 2005 02:56 PM
hahaha...wow, i'm a newcomer here, but that shit was funny. i live in new jersey, so i know how the cops are. they're everywhere, and there are so many damn bushes on the highways for them to hide in. i hate that. anyway, thanks for making me smile. peace.
Posted by: jilly | June 13, 2005 06:33 PM
I must say your web-site is very impressive.I grew up listening to you, and it's nice to see that you're still around doing your thing, keep up the good work.
Posted by: jenara | June 6, 2005 02:54 PM
Next time I see you out there WE WILL DO THE DANCE!!! Look for me in the rearview :-O
Posted by: Officer Jackson | June 6, 2005 12:50 PM
I must admit that was a good one. I also like your I am Hip Hop piece. You are turning 35 I am turning 37 yikes. Four days apart I am June 10. Happy Birthday!
Posted by: Ed | June 4, 2005 02:26 PM
HILARIOUS! I'm going to use this one.. not that I EVER speed or anything, but just in case...
Posted by: TaZorro | June 3, 2005 02:26 PM
i'll do that fa sho.
Posted by: Jacqueline | May 27, 2005 05:07 PM
Thanks J and congrats on your film! That's a major accomplishment and i'm sure it was a difficult road doing a film based on your dad. Please send me a copy when you are done!
Derrick
Posted by: D-Nice | May 27, 2005 03:31 PM
LOL you deserve an oscar for that one. Sooooo does that mean you will be in my next movie? I just finished up my first short (digital) film, still adding the credits as a matter of fact and man, workin with no budget is difficult, but it is amazing how far love will go. I based the script called Alabama Lawman on memoirs that my father wrote before he died in 1985, and the actors, although mostly inexperienced brought pops back to life, man. This is my dream come true and if I never produce anything else, I have reached my goal. I will graduate from this program in about 2 weeks and be off to a new life. I just wanted to share witcha, D! Take care and slow down;)
Posted by: Jacqueline | May 27, 2005 03:24 PM